050 - Unraveling the Journey of Self-Discovery with Ryan Matthew
Are you tired of drifting through life, yearning for something more? Deep within us all, there's an insatiable craving for purpose and meaning that ignites our souls and drives us to make every moment count. But in today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get lost in the chaos, losing sight of what truly matters.
This week on "On This Walk," my walking partner is Ryan Matthew. We dive into a deep conversation about personal journeys and finding purpose in life. Ryan shares his experiences of seeking external solutions to his problems, only to realize that the root of his issues was internal. Through self-discovery and facing suppressed emotions, Ryan undergoes significant changes, including divorce and loss of financial wealth.
Ryan shares a profound story about a transformative experience he had, which symbolizes personal and collective transformation. We also discuss the fear some men have of embracing their feminine side and the importance of integrating both masculine and feminine energies. We challenge the notion that exploring emotions and self-discovery is solely feminine and advocate for a holistic approach to personal growth. We invite you to reflect on your own journey and how you may be locking yourself away from experiencing the fullness of life. The journey to self-discovery is a personal one, but it's also a journey we all share as human beings.
In This Episode
(03:30) Ryan’s struggle to find purpose and meaning in life
(05:19) His journey of deconstruction and self-discovery
(08:32) Finding greater purpose and resilience through deconstruction and divine guidance
(12:23) The fears and needs that arise when making a major life change.
(13:12) The story of the man in the cage
(20:55) How Ryan showed love and compassion to the broken man in the story
(22:00) The man's transformation from being wretched.
(28:25) The symbolism of the man's loss of his wife, daughter, and mother
(34:11) The man's de-evolution and carrying the weight of pain
(43:21) The transformation that occurred in Ryan’s life when pouring love into the man in the cage
(45:37) The fear of losing joy and love
(48:14) The fear of merging in relationships
(49:11) The individuality and collectivism pendulum swing
(50:24) Fear of losing masculinity in personal growth
(52:51) The transformation journey and the reunification of self
(59:16) The universe's bigger signs and ignoring inner whispers
Notable Quote
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“I had just lost all of my financial wealth. I had just lost my marriage. My band had just ended all of these big things, and so there was a lot of turmoil in my life at the moment. But as I was pouring love into this man, I was pouring love into myself. The impact that those losses had on my life started to lessen. And it was like I was able to feel the emotion. And I was also able to feel a ton of joy. I realized that so much of what I was running away from in my life was this joy. This joy that was growing inside of me, and I'm still experiencing it today. The more I sit out in nature, the more this joy just continues to bubble up in me.” – Ryan
Our Guest
Ryan Matthew is a tenacious truth seeker, certified professional coach, lightning protection master installer, and a powerful musician/songwriter. He has spent the second half of his life dedicated to unlocking his deeper purpose here, bringing his healing music to the people and becoming a lover of life and all things alive.
Resources & Links
On This Walk
Ryan Matthew
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[00:00:00] Luke: Welcome, welcome, welcome, and you are listening to On This Walk, the show that helps men rediscover their unique path to true freedom. My name is Luca Oreo. I've spent the last two decades in the human potential industry helping teach and coaching thousands of people to create a more fulfilling, deeply aligned life.
[00:00:18] It's my mission to reawaken and reconnect men to the joy. Purpose, and peace will help you to become who you aspire to be for yourself, your loved ones, those that you lead. We're going on a slightly different journey today. It's a new mythic one actually that asks us to wrestle with personal and collective questions of how did I, and how did we get here?
[00:00:40] How do we return to the essential nature of who I am and who we are? And men, what do we need to come to face within ourselves to restore the embodied, conscious masculine leadership that we're meant to hold? Today I'm joined by a unique guest, colleague and friend. By day, he's a tradesman, a lightning protection master installer, but by evening, he's a powerful songwriter and musician, and by soul, he's a truth seeker.
[00:01:07] And in the midst of all this, he does some coaching too. He has an unwavering commitment to finding and living his purpose and understanding Why am I here? What am I here to give questions that may sound familiar to you. I first met Ryan polling several years ago in a retreat I was facilitating. He was at one of a few key turning points in his life, and we stayed in touch in a variety of ways through these years.
[00:01:30] And recently he shared with me a story that stopped me in my tracks. It wasn't an every day, you won't believe what happened to me kind of thing. It was something deep. It was coming through with meaning being held within each turn of the story that he was revealing.
[00:01:48] Ryan: I realized that so much of what I was running away from in my life was this joy, this joy that was growing inside of me and I'm still experiencing it today.
[00:02:00] Luke: As we go into today's walk, Brian is still sitting with this story, deciphering its meaning to him and to others. In fact, you're gonna even hear us get into this story. It's meaning in the real time processing. And after this, I'd love to know what this story is held for you. Drop me a DMM on any social.
[00:02:20] It's D as in Daniel, Luke I Oreo on Facebook or on Instagram. D Luke, I Oreo. Or join the on this walk community on Facebook and join the conversation. Now let's go on this walk with Ryan polling and returning the truth. Ryan, man, I want to, uh, welcome you to on this walk. I've been looking forward to this for a long
[00:02:40] Ryan: time.
[00:02:41] Me too, Luke. Thanks for having me
[00:02:42] Luke: here. I was sharing a little bit in the introduction, but we'll get into some of this today. But it's interesting 'cause you and I, our journey kind of began through a previous podcast that I had as well as retreat that you attended. And so we've gotten a chance to know each other in a few different ways over the course of quite a few years now.
[00:02:59] And that's where some of this actual conversation is born from our own private conversations of what's been unfolding within our lives. And before we get to that, before we get to the main event as to why you're here today, I wanted to just kind of give you the chance to, to share a bit about yourself with everybody so they can get to know you.
[00:03:16] So let me maybe toss it up or, or tee you up this way of what is an experience or a couple of experiences that you've been through in your life that have really shaped you into who you are today? Hmm.
[00:03:31] Ryan: That's such a good question. One of the main experiences that comes to mind is the struggle that I went through to buy my house that I currently live in and the land that I currently live on.
[00:03:44] I was a workaholic more or less for 10 years before I bought this piece. And I, I thought that when I bought this house, everything was gonna be great and all my problems were gonna disappear and I would be able to take it easy and things would get easier. And a couple months into living here, I noticed I was driving on the road up here and the roads are beautiful in New Hampshire.
[00:04:08] And, but I remember being stuck behind this slow driver and this aggravation started welling up in me. And I was like, where is this coming from? I thought this was gone. I moved, I got my house like, and I realized that all the problems that I was facing in my life were inside of me. And I think that was a very holistic moment in my life to start to really dive in deep too.
[00:04:32] There's gotta be something more than what I've been living for, for the last 10 years. Before that, I was more or less a a dumb kid, and I didn't really have any awareness of anything, but I had this mission of buying this house, and when that mission was accomplished, it was like, I felt so empty. And so I really started to dive into your other podcast and other podcasts and reading books and trying to figure out like, what am I missing?
[00:04:59] There's a hole inside of me that I'm trying to fill, and I thought this house would fill it
[00:05:05] Luke: and it didn't. It takes a little further than the journey that that kicked off. Like you said, it was, you know, maybe some podcasts, it was reading books, it was some retreats. Tell us a little bit about what that next stage of the winding journey has looked like for you.
[00:05:19] Ryan: It was a lot of unraveling. So I, I was divorced shortly after, so I, I married my first ex-wife before we bought this house, and then within a year of us getting this place, I was divorced as I dove into myself and I started to face emotions and things that I had, you know, largely put to the side as I was working to get this place, and I realized that I was really, by being a workaholic and having this mission, I was running from all of those things.
[00:05:48] And so as I started to unravel those things, I started to grow a lot. And my first ex-wife wasn't on the same path. And so we, we grew apart very quickly 'cause I just dove right in. Since then, I, I've been married and divorced again. I've lost all of my financial wealth. Very recently, my band that we were working on for four years and putting a lot of heart and soul and effort into that ended as well.
[00:06:16] To sum up the, the journey since then has been a lot of deconstruction of my life, and that that has unearthed a lot of pain and grief, and it's unlocked a lot more questions. You know, the more questions that I ask, the more questions come, and it's, it's given me a lot of things to consider as far as how I've lived up to this point and how so much of that has not been, it's been for my highest good in a way, but it, it's also been a mechanism for me to stay in control.
[00:06:50] There was a lot of external pieces that validated my sense of like, I'm on the right path when all those external pieces were taken away, all but my house, it was like, okay, I gotta give up some control here and lean into what life has in store for me instead of what I think. It's been a deconstruction period since then.
[00:07:11] Luke: So, Let me ask you one more, one more question before we, we get into this unbelievable story that I would like you to share today. I think this last question here that I've got for you is through all this deconstruction, through the losses that you have experienced, and it's like you said, all these major external markers within your life, relationship, money, things like that, have fallen away in all these different ways.
[00:07:38] How do you find yourself kind of where you are today in terms of your way of being? And let me just preface this with, because I know you, you know, from, not from here, but from conversations and, and many conversations now outside of, of any forums like this. And I know that there is. Still this curiosity and this joy and this love that is still present in all aspects of who you are.
[00:08:08] But if somebody just heard what you just shared, it'd be more of a, man, how's this guy still walking? Look at what he's been through. Yeah. And so I was wondering if you just kind of comment on, with all that deconstruction, with all the laws, what is it maybe that you're connecting to now or finding now that's giving you these incredible seeds that are growing into something new?
[00:08:32] Ryan: Yeah. Thank you for that question. It's really this feeling that I have, that I am here for something great, something greater than myself, some form of service to mankind. And life is showing me that as things that I have created have fallen away, I'm getting bits and pieces of this bigger vision. How I'm here to serve and how, how through this whole, all of this deconstruction, all of this loss, all of this pain, how I have been divinely held by life itself.
[00:09:13] And it's almost like, you know that story, the footprints in the sand, how, you know, spirit has carried you through all these times. You're sitting there and you're like, where are you? And meanwhile you're like a baby in spirit's, arms, you know, just being held through all this stuff. And I could go into a million different signs and stories of how I've experienced that, but it's really just this strong belief that has has come into that.
[00:09:39] I am here for something way bigger than myself, and there's faith and a trust that's tied into. Struggling to lean into, but also leaning into, you know, different parts of me are doing different things. What I hear
[00:09:52] Luke: though, in the energy behind what you're saying, and correct me if you see this different, is that previously when there was a lot more control, there was a lot more there working not only to stay away from certain issues, but working because I'm gonna get ahead, I'm gonna create it.
[00:10:09] I'm the one who's, you know, gonna drive all of this. What I hear is even in potentially that so-called bigger role to play, what I'm hearing though is that you're asking a question of what is life asking of me as opposed to what is it that I'm getting out of life and what is life bringing me?
[00:10:28] Ryan: Yeah. What am I taking from life?
[00:10:30] Yeah. It's, it's about what can I give to life? That's, that's kind of the transition that I'm in right now. And there's still parts of me that are like, well, I gotta hold onto this, you know, 'cause I've held onto that for the last 20 years and that's kept me safe. And then there's parts of me that are just like, just let go.
[00:10:48] Just let go. You know, you've been forced to let go of all these big things. These little things are nothing. Let go of these ideas, let go of these ways of being that, that really aren't serving you or the planet.
[00:10:58] Luke: You know, when you make a switch like that, one of the things that it speaks to and, and for everybody to understand this, is you're making this switch that directly puts you kind of face to face with one of our greatest fears, which is, will my needs be met?
[00:11:14] And it's, I mean, at the end of the day, our fears basically come down to kind of two varieties, are my needs gonna be met? And what am I gonna lose? You've been through the lost part, you're facing that, right? Yeah. And making this switch, we start to ask, you know, how are my needs gonna be met if I, if I surrender in this way, if I pay attention to where it is that life seems to be guiding me, as opposed to what we've always been taught.
[00:11:36] We've gotta go create it. We've gotta get ours to total different orientation. And yet, as you have experienced, you've achieved some of the things that you wanted to achieve, only to find out that that wasn't it. That was not gonna provide you what it was that you wanted. And when all of a sudden the deconstruction was there, they fell away because they weren't supposed to be there anymore.
[00:11:55] And so you've experienced that. However, interestingly, your land is still there. So yeah. We'll leave that, we'll leave, we'll leave that one as a, as an ellipsis
[00:12:04] Ryan: my land. Yeah. Yes. So
[00:12:06] Luke: I should, yes. The land that you get to, to care for, let me say it that way. I do wanna switch gears 'cause I, I, I want to just give ample time to why I asked you specifically to be on this show today.
[00:12:16] Aside from the fact that we could dive into so much of what you've already brought up for the next hour. But another gentleman that we kind of circle with, as it were, you shared a story of something you connected to very recently. And I received this in a very, very powerful way. I mean, it was, to me it was as if you had almost lived through and I.
[00:12:41] Kind of rediscovered an old mythical story in the way that this seems to have come through. And so I wanted to give you the space and to, to say, first set a little bit of the scene of like, how did this even unfold? Where were you? What was going on? I know that a lot of this centered around some back pain you were experiencing.
[00:13:01] So let us know, like what the scene was and, and give us an orientation there, and then tell us what unfolded. Tell us what it is that came through and take us through the story.
[00:13:12] Ryan: One of the things I've struggled with is caring for my body, and you'll see how that ties into this story. I've been making an effort and I've been having massages done regularly.
[00:13:24] I work physically for a living. I've been in construction for years, and I have not historically taken the best care of myself while asking so much of myself. And so I, I started going through these massages and, you know, the first two hour massage I had, she worked on my left arm. That was it. Like, that's how nodded up my body's been.
[00:13:44] So a lot has come out of these massages, and it's interesting. I, my massage therapist is pretty talkative. And so one time I, I asked her, she was working on my lower back and I said, you know, I feel like something is going to come out of this. I, I would like some silence. And so she's working on my lower back and, you know, I have a really high pain tolerance whenever she's working on other parts of my body, I'm like, get in there, go harder, you know, get that deep muscle unlocked.
[00:14:14] But as soon as she put her elbow into my lower back, it was like, my whole torso felt like it was going to explode. And I was like, oh my God, this is insane. So I had to tell her to back off. And so she continued to work on my lower back for the, the entire rest of the session. And there was this song that came on as she was doing this, and for some reason it just kind of hit me and I said, who, you know, what song is this?
[00:14:39] So she told me, and I put that in my back pocket for later, and I got home that night. And you know, you would think after you get massage work done, your, your body's gonna feel pretty good, you know, loosened up. But my back was screaming at me, you know, where she had just been working. And so I was trying to do my regular transcendental meditation and I, I couldn't do it.
[00:15:00] And I was just like, I need to go into this pain in my lower back. I need to bring my consciousness there and see what wants to come out. And what happened over the next two weeks was pretty incredible. And so I, I went into my lower back with, with all of my consciousness and I said, what are you trying to show me?
[00:15:22] And I saw a man, a beautiful man. I mean, like what you would think of as just a divine human being. Very God-like man. A very loving man, very benevolent man. And. I see him playing in the field with his daughter and his wife is sitting there, you know, beside him laughing. They're having a beautiful, joyous time.
[00:15:47] And so it paints a picture of just this blissful existence on earth. And then all of a sudden everything kind of went dark and every everybody kind of, you know, disappeared. And I see this man walking through this town center, this town square, and he sees, you know, he went to the grocery store or something, but you know, we're talking hundreds of years ago.
[00:16:08] So he probably went to the apothecary and got some herbs, and then all of a sudden he sees all these people rushing past him to the town square, and there's this buzzing going on. He doesn't know what's happening. And so he follows the crowd and to his absolute horror, he sees his wife and daughter inside a cage in the town square, and they're, they're lighting the cage.
[00:16:36] There's wood all inside the cage and around the cage, and they're lighting the cage on fire. And so his wife and daughter had been accused of witchcraft. And this man, you know, he tries to do something. He, you know, pushes through the crowd. He is pulling on the bars, he's trying to get his wife and daughter out of that cage, and the fire is getting bigger and bigger and, and so he has to back away or he's gonna get burned.
[00:17:00] And, and he watches helplessly and horror as his wife and daughter burns alive inside this cage. And you can just imagine the pain in this man as everyone in the town swears is jeering against, you know, his wife and daughter. And they're praising the fact that they're burning and, and he just can't believe it.
[00:17:20] He can't understand why this is happening and.
[00:17:28] Seems to be his only surviving family member other than his son, but his, you know, older family. There's no aunts or uncles. I would assume his father has passed because the mother that I saw was a very old, and he goes to his mother to tell her what happened and to get, you know, some constellation to be held to be loved because no one else gave it to him.
[00:17:53] And again, to his horror, she completely denied him. And she said, you shouldn't even be sorry they were witches. You shouldn't be sad. They deserve to die. And you know, you shouldn't even be feeling what you're feeling. And so this man who just lost his wife and daughter in this fiery cage, he is now rejected by his mother.
[00:18:19] He doesn't even know why all this happened. And what I unearthed recently is I keep sitting with this story is, The thought that must have been present for him was, I don't know why all this love was taken away from me and denied to me. I must be unworthy. And so he walked out of this house and just a completely broken man.
[00:18:43] This beautiful, loving, caring, benevolent man was completely shattered. And as I sat with him for two weeks, every night after work, I would put on this song that I heard in, in the massage, and it would unearth more of the story. And so I see this man walking and he is walking as a wretch and he is dragging this huge club behind him, his right hand, and the weight of this club.
[00:19:11] He won't let go of it. And he is, his spine is beginning to hunch over and his clothes are turning to rags, and he's becoming this more of a creature than a man. He is trying to fill this pain, this hole that's been created inside him. He's trying to fill it. He is trying to find that love that was denied to him, that was taken away from him.
[00:19:37] And so he, he becomes very destructive. You know, he is trying all of these ways to fill this void. And so he, he turns to women and he turns to alcohol and he turns to drug and he becomes an abuser. He becomes even more of a wretch. He becomes disgusting and not caring and not loving and very just a destructive creature.
[00:20:05] And all the while there's this part of him that sees what's going on, and this part of him is so small at this point, this loving, benevolent, caring part of him is still there, but it's so small. But it says, we can't do this anymore. This isn't right. We can't. Keep destroying everything. It's not helping.
[00:20:25] And so he takes himself to the cage in the town square that his wife and daughter were buried in, and he, he locks himself inside and he throws away the key because he didn't want to hurt people. He didn't want to destroy things. And so this wretch locked himself away. And all the while there's kind of this side note of the story that this man has a son and he abandoned his son to walk the earth as a wretch.
[00:20:55] So we can see how the, the wound gets passed down generation to generation. And so as I was sitting with this man listening to this song, and I was loving myself during this, this period, I was getting massages every week. I was eating well, I was taking salt baths almost every night, just kind of pampering myself.
[00:21:18] So I'm in a salt bath and I'm listening to this song and I'm, I see this man in this cage and I, I go up to the cage and I see this wretch and he's huddled in the corner and he is got his club with him. And I say, you know, you didn't do anything to deserve this. This isn't about you. Life happened, but you're not unworthy because of this.
[00:21:41] And so for the next week or so, every night after work, I would get an assault bath and put the song on. And I would give love to this man. And I would say, you know, things like, you are so worthy of love. Just because it was taken from you doesn't make you any less of a man, any less of a person worthy of that.
[00:22:01] And so over time, he started to converse with me in the cage and we would have conversations and he came over and kind of sat next to me and I said, I'm gonna let you out of this cage and we can walk together. So I let him out of the cage. And, you know, this wretch stood up and he got his club with him, and he's dragging it along with us.
[00:22:24] And we're talking and we're walking through the town. And, and as we're talking and walking over the next few days, he started to look more human. His clothes became a little less torn up and, and dirty. And his back started to straighten out and he started to walk a little bit taller. And, and this went on for a few days.
[00:22:47] And as we kept doing this, he kept looking more and more human. And eventually he was, you know, walking up straight. And his clothes were simple, but normal, clean. And so we got to this fence, post this gate to this farm field, this beautiful wheat field. And it had a big oak tree in the, in the center on top of the hill, something you'd see in a postcard.
[00:23:10] And I saw him smile for the first time. I said, oh my God, you're smiling. That's amazing. And I, I look back towards the town and I'm just like, wow, look at this journey we've been on. And I turn back and I look at him standing at the gate and he is no longer dragging this club. He's walking with a staff in his hand, or he is standing with a staff in his hand.
[00:23:36] And I'm like, your club's gone. And he is like, now walk with me. So I walk with him. We walk through this gate and we're walking up in this field with the big oak tree in there. We're walking up towards the tree on the top of the hill and we're talking and there's so much love being exchanged between the two of us.
[00:24:00] And I look back, sunset behind us, and I look back to look at the sunset, and I see men starting to follow us into this field. And the first man I see is my father. And then I see his father and his father before him. And then I start to see all of these men from different time periods, different generations wearing all these different clothes.
[00:24:22] There's people dressed like I am today. There's people dressed from a thousand years ago and all these men just gathering behind us, and it turns in a thousands of men walking behind us in this field. And I'm just amazed. And I turned to this man who's walking next to me and I was like, oh my God, look at all these men.
[00:24:41] They're all following us. And he said, I've led them long enough now you lead them. And he gave me a staff and he started to float up into the sky. And I was like, I don't know if I can do this. I'm just a guy. I don't know how to lead all these men. I don't know if I'm strong enough. And he said, you're strong enough because I made you that way.
[00:25:10] And so I turned and I looked at all these men and that was it.
[00:25:19] That is quite a story, Ryan. Pretty profound to come out of a muscle in your lower back. I was gonna say all,
[00:25:24] Luke: all that from an emergent pain in, in your back, in your lower back. I think the first thing that I want to ask you is, you know, and I know that this story's revealed itself to you not all that long ago, right?
[00:25:36] This is all fairly recent, but in, in the time that you have had to sit with this since, what does the story mean to you today?
[00:25:48] Ryan: I look at it for myself and also for the human collective. And what I see happening in my own life right now is this, the story of the man trying to fill himself, trying to fill some kind of void that's inside of him that he doesn't understand.
[00:26:08] And I've done this with sex and alcohol and being a workaholic, and I see the collective and the way that we have destroyed and dishonored the earth the way that we have just taken and taken and taken the lack of trust. And so I see this, this period of this wretchedness that was birthed from this pain.
[00:26:32] I don't know if there was a pain in my own life that started this. I think this was before I was even born. But I see this collectively as the time of the wretch is coming to a close and it's time to start living in a completely different way. And it's time to start leading in a completely different way so that generations after us learn to honor the earth, learn to respect her, learn to respect their fellow man and women.
[00:27:03] Something that I feel has been very small. There's been a very small percentage of people living like that up to this point. And I feel like we're in a time of a greater awakening of people beginning to realize how we have lived, how destructive it's been, how we want to change and move towards something different.
[00:27:25] And I see that happening in a micro level in my own life of how I've struggled and been a workaholic and now I'm, I'm like, there's gotta be a different way. You know? I don't wanna live like this anymore. I don't wanna hurt people, I don't want to hurt myself. I don't want to have all these painful massage experiences 'cause my body is completely overworked and not honored, although this one is pretty great.
[00:27:49] So that's what it means for me. I wanna
[00:27:53] Luke: come back to some of the questions, some of the points you just brought up and leads to some other questions. But I want to go through the story a little bit before we get to some of those. Let's start here of. As you've, you know, sat with different elements of this, there's a lot of symbology that is throughout the course of, of this story that you share.
[00:28:13] And I think one of the first things I wanna go to is asking you, you know, what is it that stands out to you or what, what may it represent to you? The loss of his mother and daughter, or his wife and daughter.
[00:28:25] Ryan: I've sat with this, I actually wrote out all the individual parts of this story, and I've had a lot of stuff going on in my own life, and I haven't been able to sit with it the way I really want to.
[00:28:37] Yeah. But what I've gotten so far is that that moment is the representation of a great pain, something cataclysmic that happened in someone's life that, you know, and we could look at that collectively as well, that changes the trajectory of what was happening. And so that, you know, we see this beautiful, benevolent, caring, loving man, very strong, very protective, easily providing everything that his family could ever want and need.
[00:29:10] And it's a joy to him to do so. And then this event happens and it completely changes him. Yeah. So almost takes him from the light side to the dark side, the shadow.
[00:29:21] Luke: Yeah. It's interesting because it, as you described originally, was that he goes from this scene where kind of everything is light, he's just going off to the store, whatever, and then all of a sudden everything goes dark and he follows the town as they're running to the town square.
[00:29:36] Right. And is that enters into the shadow if we use that? 'cause I, I think that's part of a, you know, a, a clear symbol that that seems to be there is moving from light to shadow, from conscious to unconscious. However, we wanna name this. And to me at least the first thing that struck me is it feels like it's.
[00:29:58] A moment of not just great loss, but it's specifically to me, it symbolized the loss of the divine feminine and the break between, you know, what has become from a, a stereotypical standpoint. So let me be clear here from a stereotypical point, what has become the archetype of the modern man, which is the over dominance of masculine traits and no integration of the rest, of, of who it's we are, and part of that being the feminine.
[00:30:26] And so it feels like there's this disconnection, this breaking of union, right? Mm-hmm. It actually is occurring. And when we break that union and we break the balance of, of what any of us are, but specifically to the journey of a man, and we break from all of these parts, including the parts that are feminine, not women, not female, but feminine in the way I'm describing this energy wise, it sends us into a place that we're no longer feeling whole.
[00:30:53] We feel empty. We feel something's missing. There's that part, and, and I think rather appropriately, you even said it before, of that loss of love that's experienced and how many men are out there, you know, in whatever your journey's been and whatever self-awareness work you've done or not done or whatever, can recognize how much as men, we tend to have been hardened.
[00:31:17] We tend to have issues with the way that we show love and the way that we open up and relate to and be vulnerable, even in the space of love, how freely we tend to give it. And we can think of that in terms of our own relationships. We can think of that in terms of, you know, our fathers as well as our sons, and how well, and how easy and how well does it flow.
[00:31:38] More often than not, we'll see areas within our life where it's really, it doesn't flow well and we feel very, very disconnected from that. So anyway, there's that part of the story. To me, that's what I got out of it. It may not be what you got out of it might not be what other listeners get out of it, but at least that's what starts to
[00:31:53] Ryan: stand out for me.
[00:31:54] I wanna thank you for. Again, giving me this opportunity to tell this and then also expanding on it with what it meant to you, because there are universal aspects that are coming through the story. The more I sit with it, the more that I talk about it, the more comes out of the story. And so one of the things that I've been working on personally with a mentor of mine is this feeling like I can never have her, I mean her with a capital H, the divine feminine like you were talking about before.
[00:32:22] And we notice in a story that he loses his wife, his daughter, and his mother, the only three aspects of the divine feminine that you can have in your immediate family, right? And so he's denied by his mother and he is denied the love that he experienced with his wife and daughter as they were taken from him.
[00:32:44] And we see in our culture the ultra domination that you talked about, basically taking from the earth as the divine mother. It's almost like we're trying to spite something. Because of this pain that we're not willing to feel. And so I see that as well. But you're absolutely on point. I took this as coinciding with my own journey of this wound of I can never have her.
[00:33:07] And that kind of coming out of this story too, and when I talked about this with my other mentor and we kind of put these together, I was just like, oh my God. Like this
[00:33:17] Luke: is huge. I'm still kind of sitting with that. I think it does still tie into, you know, once we have kind of broken union from parts of who we are and broken from the sacred feminine as it were, is there this feeling of being cast out as it were, and maybe the mother is part of that casting out process as well as just part of feeling like, well, if we've lost this, then surely we must be rejected and did the mother reject us or is that the way that we perceived it?
[00:33:46] Ryan: Yeah, that's kind of how I came to when he walked outta the house and he said, I must be unworthy. Yeah. Well, even my mother doesn't love me anymore. Even my mother won't hold me anymore. It's the final nail in the coffin that's just like, okay, I'm in the shadow now. Yeah. You know, there was like a piece of hope before he went to the mother, and then when he was rejected again, it was just like, Nope.
[00:34:08] Yeah, your, your life is going in a different direction now.
[00:34:11] Luke: So then I'm curious of before he gets to locking himself into the cage, you describe the path he goes on and you can almost see this de-evolution, so to speak, of this man as he begins to break down. He feels the weight of everything that he is going through and has gone through.
[00:34:28] He's carrying this, this big club behind him, this heavy club, which I'm curious if you have some thoughts on, on what he's carrying in that club. Maybe jump off of, of that and just share anything else about that stage
[00:34:40] Ryan: of the journey. Yeah, so it is a de-evolution. Think of like Gollum from Lord of the Rings.
[00:34:46] He, he turns into this creature, you know, who still resembles loosely a human being, but it's like people don't wanna be around him. And so the club, I feel like it's a, a metaphor for the pain. Yeah. It's this huge weighted club. I mean, picture like Fred Flintstone, this like giant, you know, it's this huge weighted club, but we have to notice that he's holding onto it.
[00:35:13] He won't let it go, and he is dragging it along with him willingly. So there's something in there that I wanna sit with more, and I'm, I'm curious what your thoughts are on that, but to me, that club is the pain. He's not learning to hold it in a way that is, is serving him or serving life. He's just dragging it along with him and it's
[00:35:31] Luke: hurting him.
[00:35:32] It's interesting to me because I also relate to it as, as kind of the weight of pain that is there. It's interesting to me that the symbol is a club. He's not walking around like Atlas with some big rock, big boulder on his shoulders. Right. Instead, he is walking around with a club. And so to me, what I associate that with is what do we end up doing with our pain?
[00:35:53] End up destruction people with it creates harm, it creates violence. Right? What the old phrase, and, and I, I know it from Father Richard Rohr, I think he was quoting somebody else. Hurt people. Hurt people. So we walk around with this pain and it takes the form of one way or the other. We're gonna defend, we're gonna attack, we're gonna deconstruct, right?
[00:36:15] We're gonna destroy maybe even a better way of saying it. And so it's interesting to me that the weight of the pain takes the form
[00:36:21] Ryan: of a club and we see it in the story. You know, he becomes exactly an abuser. He's raping women. He is, he is hitting them. He is, you know, he is destroying everything that he comes in contact with.
[00:36:32] Yeah. And it really is that the metaphor of like that pain. Creates pain.
[00:36:38] Luke: Yeah. And then there's this moment where he knows there's that little part of him inside, but the little part of him can't take back over yet, and he makes the choice to lock himself in the cage. I'm curious about your thoughts or what that has spoken to you.
[00:36:56] 'cause that's very interesting to me, that I'm no longer gonna keep doing this, but the way that I'm going to protect others and protect myself is by locking myself away.
[00:37:06] Ryan: Hmm. You know, that may be something that I'm being called to sit with more. It's a symbol of protection. So the little beautiful, benevolent, loving, caring piece of this man.
[00:37:22] It's like I need to keep myself safe and I don't wanna hurt people. So we're gonna make sure that this other big part of me can't hurt anyone. And I'll stay safe. I'll be kept in here. And I see in my own life how I have locked away the beautiful parts of me because I have been rejected, you know, I've shown massive amounts of joy when I was a child, and my parents, you know, kind of struck me down for it.
[00:37:50] And so over a lifetime of that, as a man or as a woman, you're like, okay, I can't show this part of myself and, and be safe. You know, you just get torn down. And so I think there's a piece of, of protection in there, not only for others, but you know, for yourself. There's a relation there to the feeling unworthy.
[00:38:10] And I haven't really put together yet.
[00:38:13] Luke: As you talk, the one thing I'll add is it feels like, as we experience different phases, right, we don't have to go as extreme as, as what the, the journey of this man has been. But we go through those phases where we get very off track in the shadow. And what it feels like to me is that in that period of time, it feels like we're accumulating, for lack of better term, shame, blame and guilt.
[00:38:38] And ultimately when we decide we want to come back from that path, but because of the shame, blame and guilt, we don't deserve to be out in the world anymore. So we lock ourselves away. Like you said, it's a protection mechanism, it's a safety mechanism. We can say that it's to protect others, but in reality it's really self protection for keeping ourselves distant, from keeping ourselves isolated from others.
[00:39:02] I wanna ask this to, to all the listeners, but I ask you to, to reply further if you choose to, is to reflect on. How do you lock yourself away? What are the things that you do to isolate yourself from others? What are the things you do to hide from others? And I'm curious if there's any, anything else along those lines that you choose to expand on?
[00:39:23] Ryan: Well, man, I did it for 10 years as a workaholic, working seven days a week. I mean, a part of it was I wanted to get a house, you know? But there was another part of me that was like, all my friends were doing all these fun things, and it was like, I, hmm. I don't really want to connect with people that way. I don't want that kind of intimacy that's opening a door, you know, to getting hurt.
[00:39:44] And frankly, I don't feel worthy of having that much fun, you know? And so I locked myself away in the form of a workaholic where it was just day after day, night after night, seven days a week I was working. And when my friends were doing all this fun stuff, I wasn't, I look at like, even where I'm at today, and you know, I've had two marriages that didn't last, and there are ways that I ran away from intimate connection with them as well.
[00:40:09] And that's one of the bigger challenges that I've, I feel I've come into this lifetime to, to work on, is that depth of intimacy. And there's a level of trusting the people that you're allowing into your life, knowing that they are trustworthy, choosing the right people, but there's also a level of trusting yourself, trusting life to hold you, trusting that we are worthy of feeling that love and that intimacy.
[00:40:37] And that's an ongoing journey for me. The way
[00:40:39] Luke: I'll state it is like, listen, working too much, having an extra drink. All those things I've, I've experienced with in my life. And at the same time, I think the one that was most common, or the one that popped up the most was that as far as anybody else was concerned, I was Mr.
[00:40:57] Calm, cool. And collected. Mm-hmm. And they didn't know that I was scared shitless inside. I. All the time. And it was literally just this act of don't let him see you sweat. And so I would lock away all the feeling, I'd lock away all the emotion and I'd lock all those things down. And I really wouldn't let myself, 'cause I'd lock all that down 'cause I didn't wanna feel that pain.
[00:41:21] And so that's from my history as well. But what that did is it also prevented me from being able to just enjoy the moments of life that I was experiencing at any given time. I didn't have as much access to joy and, uh, happiness and to bliss because I was just shut it down because I didn't wanna have that full range of emotions.
[00:41:39] And the only times I could experience some of those moments was not real bliss. It wasn't real joy. It was pleasure through things like having a drink and you, or achieving the next thing, because that was like dopamine hit of, of being able to achieve the next milestone that I went out to achieve. And that was my substitute, you know?
[00:41:55] And that's the only way I could get that little spark, that little taste of what I was actually after. Which was peace and joy and bliss and balance and you know, total different orientation of my life. Right? And so anyway, it's, we all have these different ways and you can lock yourself away literally through isolation.
[00:42:12] You can do it through wearing masks. You can do it through the way that you block vulnerability. You can do it through dishonesty, you can do it through substances. I mean, there's many different ways that we create that locked down self. And it's just to be aware of it, right? It just, it is what it is. The more aware of what we become, now we can decide, is this really the way that I choose to live my life going forward?
[00:42:32] And what help do I need if I need to make some of those changes? Now, the next part of it, speaking to that, help you go to the cage. You, Ryan, go to the cage and you begin to sit with and speak with this man. If I ask you this, because before when I asked you about the meeting of the story, one of the things that you started to say was this tendency, this pull that we're feeling towards a new way of living, towards a new way of leading, maybe even a new way of relating.
[00:43:01] So tell me about what transpired for you in your conversations with the man. Meaning we know what you were reinforcing in him. We know that he then begins to take on his original essences essential form, but what was changing in you? Yeah, thanks,
[00:43:22] Ryan: Luke. I do look at this man's story as my own, and I see so many similarities of, you know, obviously a much lesser scale of, you know, I'm not doing what he's he was doing, but I do see it as me.
[00:43:36] And so I went to the cage and I, I poured love into him. And so as I was doing that, I was pouring love into myself. And you know, the salt bath is a great, you know, over those two, three weeks I was in the salt bath every night. And so I was pouring love into myself too. And you know, I had just lost all of my financial wealth.
[00:43:57] I had just lost my marriage. My band had just ended all of these big things. And so there was a lot of turmoil in my life at the moment. But as I was pouring love into this man, I was pouring love into myself. The impact that those losses had on my life started to lessen. Hmm. And it was like I was able to feel the emotion and I was also able to feel a shit ton of joy.
[00:44:26] Hmm. I realized that so much of what I was running away from in my life was this joy, this joy that was growing inside of me and I'm still experiencing it today. The more I sit out in nature, the more this joy just continues to bubble up in me. And it was like, oh my God, is this what I was afraid of the whole time?
[00:44:47] Is this what was so terrifying? And I'm sure there's other things, but. That's something that has been a huge shift for me is even amidst this huge domino of losses that has been in my life, I've been able to experience more profound joy than I ever have. It's interesting,
[00:45:06] Luke: and I'm, I'm gonna ask a question of both of us that, uh, I have no idea where this is gonna go, but let's see what happens.
[00:45:13] I've also seen this personally, and I've experienced this with a lot of clients that I have worked with through the years. We think of fears, but usually when we think of fear, we think of the fear of, you know, what's gonna happen? We think of the fears. We're gonna be rejected. We think of the fears. Our needs aren't gonna be met.
[00:45:31] But for a moment, what do you think we fear in joy?
[00:45:37] Ryan: I think we fear that we're gonna lose it. Just like this man lost it. Mm. So much of what he experienced was joy, and it was taken away like that. We don't want to feel that pain of that again. Yeah. And I feel it all the time as this joy comes up, I'm like, is this gonna last?
[00:45:58] I notice this hesitancy in me of like, okay, I'm, I'm laugh crying now, but you know, is it safe to do that? You know? And so I think that we fear the loss. I think that's a big, big part of it. I know we all have some form of an abandonment wound, but that was huge for me and my relationship. My recent relationship was things were really great for a time and I feared the loss of that and so did she.
[00:46:27] And we created the ending of our relationship out of that fear. Yeah. You know, so it's interesting how fear becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of we fear the loss and through that fear we actually create it.
[00:46:39] Luke: Yeah. It is interesting, and I, I, I think you're very much on the, you know, on point with, we fear some of these incredible states of being like joy because we fear that we're gonna lose it all over again.
[00:46:51] And in many instances, we either didn't make it through or we barely made it through the last time that we had that loss. And so we question, oh my God, if I could go through that again, I don't know if I can do it. And I absolutely relate to that. And, you know, as, as I've looked at different phases of my life and I've, I've thought about different things I wanted to take on as the example, different things I wanted to get into it is that fear of my God, you know, I've been through that before, and what if it doesn't work out again?
[00:47:17] I don't know if I can pick myself back up a third time, a fourth time, a fifth time, and at what point do I just lock myself back in the cage? To keep ourselves
[00:47:25] Ryan: safe. We hear it all the time with people with intimate relationships. That's one of the biggest wounds that we have of, you know, a woman will say, oh, I'm done with relationships.
[00:47:35] I'm, I'm gonna be single till I die. And men will say the same thing. Yeah. I
[00:47:38] Luke: was also gonna ask, you know, what is it that we fear and love and part of it is the loss, but I also think that with love, because it's in relationship, we fear what's gonna be exposed. Right. We fear what's gonna be seen within us and is that's what's gonna create the loss.
[00:47:55] Like, are we gonna be exposed as, as a fraud or not that good of a man or not that good of a woman, or whatever the case may be, where we feel like we're gonna be rejected at such a deep exposed level that we will be shattered as you described, the man losing his, his wife and daughter. That way we will be shattered.
[00:48:14] Ryan: I also feel like there's a fear of the merging. There's like a fear that through merging with another person, we'll lose ourself. Yeah. And I know I fucking did that in my last marriage and I actually grieved the loss of myself more than I grieved the loss of the relationship. But it was such an intense merging.
[00:48:34] It was, it was very unconscious and ended up being a very toxic relationship. But it showed me a lot. And so I do think that on a subconscious level, there is a fear of that merging of we're putting our bank accounts together and we're moving into a house together, and I don't have my own space anymore.
[00:48:52] That I feel like there is a fear of that. Like we're gonna lose who we are in a relationship too, along with we're gonna lose that love that we're experiencing.
[00:49:00] Luke: It's a another good way of saying, 'cause I even see that in this sense of, in not just our intimate relationships, but I see that at a collective level right now.
[00:49:10] Where we're seeing this unbelievable polarity around individualism and collectivism. And I think there's a lot of misunderstanding as to all of these things, as there usually is. 'cause there's a whole lot of gray, it's not anywhere near black and white or you know, left right, this, that, whatever. And there is that feeling of how is it that I can be both an individual, but also belong to something that gives me that sense of deep connection with others, but in a way that enhances who I am.
[00:49:41] I don't lose myself in that. And we're watching that because we see some people surrender the individuality of who they are into a collectivism, into an ideology, as an example. And we also see those that are fiercely out of the system right now. I'm not gonna be anywhere near that. And so we see this pendulum swing.
[00:50:02] So it's interesting to watch it on the macrocosm because I think we're seeing it at that level and recognizing, well, where does that begin? It begins with exactly what you just said, which is the individual relationships, the personal relationships, the intimate relationships of can we be both an unbelievable partnership and unbelievable individuals at the same time?
[00:50:23] Ryan: Yeah. There's a fear, especially in men of like, well, if I let this feminine thing happen, I'm gonna not be a man anymore, you know? And I'm gonna fly off into airy fairyland and everybody's gonna think I'm a loser. You know? I know for guys in construction, it's all over the place. Like, absolutely. Yeah. I'm not gonna decorate my house.
[00:50:45] I'm totally fine with a couch and a tv. Like,
[00:50:49] Luke: right. But it's, and it's, it's interesting because this was, this was an offline conversation. We were, we were having the other day of how is it that we can go on this inner exploration and we can go into things like, Our emotions. We can go into our feeling states and our, our sensing.
[00:51:07] We can go into the spirituality and the depth of what it is to really go in and discover who it is that we are. And most of this type of reflection and contemplation has historically been considered to be more feminine in nature from an energy that's there. But how is it that we can do that because we so desperately need it and integrate it with the masculine, integrate it with our manhood, and so that it's not a sacrifice, it is not a, we're leaving this behind.
[00:51:36] It's a both and, and I think that gets lost. It, it's so much of what I, you know, see in all sorts of different arguments is it, it becomes an either or as opposed to a no, no, no, no. It's not an either or. It's for us to have wholeness. We're gonna bring all of this back together again.
[00:51:49] Ryan: I'll say it like this and I'll say it almost as a challenge to men that are listening, if they feel that way.
[00:51:56] If you want to be able to hold space for people, You have to hold space for yourself. And the more that you do that, the bigger your space opens for others. And so if we're not willing to feel what is going on inside of us, I would argue that you're actually less masculine than you think you are. Love that.
[00:52:17] That's a gut punch for everybody. That's a
[00:52:19] Luke: gun punch right there. And I one that I would, I'd high five you for because I want to come back to this new way of leading. So take us now on the journey of the man's outta the cage. You guys are walking together and so much is transforming with kind of every step until you reach that gate.
[00:52:42] You look back and then look back at the man and he's completely transformed. Take us through what that transformation is.
[00:52:51] Ryan: It's interesting because I feel like that is kind of the next arena of my life. That's kind of what I am stepping into now, personally, learning what that means. Learning how to lead, looking at this man who has completely transformed and being like, how did that happen?
[00:53:11] You know? And so it's, it's kind of new ground for me. And if we're gonna lead, I don't wanna lead people astray, but I will say one thing, it starts with what has happened in my life recently. The complete deconstruction of everything. We think we know for sure everything that we have put stock in to keep us safe.
[00:53:33] These markers that we create in our life of, okay, I've accomplished this. You know, it begins with the loss of all that. And if we look at it that way as, okay, this is part of my evolution. This is a necessary step. This is actually what life wants for me. We can let go a lot easier and save ourselves a shit ton of pain.
[00:53:54] Pain that we should feel. You know, to be honest, I don't have a great answer for that yet. That's something that I'm, I'm figuring out. Yeah. But I do know that it involves a lot of love and a lot of care and a lot of respect and a lot of honor for the people around us, for the planet that we live on, for the earth that we walk on, that feeds us.
[00:54:15] And it's something that I see growing collectively and that that gives me a lot of hope. Yeah. There's a ton of great organizations and people that are doing that work and that are starting this. There's a lot of fear of the loss of the systems that we have in place in the world today, which is totally valid.
[00:54:34] And you know, yeah, it's gonna be scary thinking about getting your food from a different place or whatever that means. But I think that there's a big courage piece that comes into play of, okay, things are changing. Everybody can see things are changing in the world, and it's about having the courage to stand there and say, okay, what's happening?
[00:54:55] How can I serve? How can I help? I think that's a huge part of leadership that we're seeing, a growing population of today.
[00:55:02] Luke: What I will just add to that, 'cause I agree with all of that, and what I would add is that there is that archetypal transformed man, let's say that we are now talking about, and to me man or woman, it represents a reunification that we have found that unity, that wholeness back within and that brings us into our essential
[00:55:27] Ryan: self.
[00:55:28] So when he floats up in the sky, right? So up until that point, there's two men walking side by side together when he floats up in the sky. I look at that as the reunification, and I also look at that as a sign that this is God, you know, this man. That was this beautiful, benevolent, loving, caring, just ugh, just this gorgeous man turned wretch.
[00:55:56] It is all God, right? This destructive force, this pain, this is all God. And he floats up into the sky and he is like, here you go, Ryan. Now it's your turn. And I'm like, what is that? You're just gonna leave me here high and dry with the stick? Come on, man. But I look at it as that's a metaphor, that we are our creator and we are our creation.
[00:56:24] And when we become whole, that's when we can truly lead others instead of leading them down the destructive path of one side or the other.
[00:56:33] Luke: Yeah. Beautifully said, and I, I guess I would pose that then to, you know, to everybody listening, you know, there's so much here. Take from this story. We've offered you our thoughts of, you know, Ryan's personal reflection on, on what he's experienced.
[00:56:46] So in my reflections on what it is that I've heard and what I've received from this, but take the time to consider what each of these elements and what this story has meant to you. And you know, that kind of big question at the end of what is it that supports you in returning to wholeness? What are the parts of your life that you need to address?
[00:57:04] What are the parts of your life you need to sit with more? What are the parts of who you are that you need to welcome back? Bring back into the fold and show some of that. Love to, I just wanna comment further on, Ryan, as you've gone on this journey, you talk about that deconstruction, which I also very much agree.
[00:57:19] It's part of this journey is to deconstruct, to unlearn, however we wanna frame it, to allow that which is not in alignment with who we truly are to fall away, you know, at the same time to what you were alluding to is, I don't wanna scare everybody. It doesn't mean that every aspect of your life is gonna go, I still got my house.
[00:57:39] Yep. Right. Exactly. And you know, it does not necessarily need to be a complete rip the bandaid off kind of moment. This can be a journey and it is one that you can enter into. With trusted guides, with trusted circles, with, you know, trusted teachers and, and whatnot who can support you in that process. And the communities that can support you in that process so that you don't have to go through it alone.
[00:58:03] It's funny to me because, you know, having done this work in a variety of capacities for, you know, for many years now, the thing that I have found is how often you see a lot more than two scenarios, but I'm gonna give you two. 'cause you presented one, which is when we go through a, a major journey like this, there's a lot that ends up falling away and all of a sudden there's tons of change.
[00:58:23] There's the void, there's like, we go through all of this and then it's like, how do we reenter and transform into this whole new
[00:58:28] Ryan: life? The disconnection from spirit too disconnected of like, I can't feel anything bigger than myself. Right?
[00:58:36] Luke: And we feel so disconnected and isolated in those moments and I've watched people go through that and at the same time come out with a more loving relationship, which was the relationship they were already in.
[00:58:50] I've seen them love their job more, not leave their job. I have seen them, you know, fall in love with the life that they already had all over again, but now they're relating to it in a completely different way. A completely different way of being. A completely different level of consciousness. Stage of consciousness.
[00:59:07] And so it doesn't necessarily mean everything falls away. It means that that which is still aligned with you, but is gonna be there, that which was not aligned with you, is gonna fall away.
[00:59:16] Ryan: So the things that I lost were all because of choices I made. When I got into my band. I had a thought, a very whispering thought of, I shouldn't become business partners with this person.
[00:59:33] And I ignored it. When I got into my marriage, I had this thought, I shouldn't marry this person. And I ignored it. You know, when I was a workaholic for 10 years, it was like every day, there's gotta be a better way than this. Hmm. And I ignored it. Really
[00:59:49] Luke: glad that you added that before we completely wrap up here.
[00:59:52] I mean, I can, it makes me think of, of the different times where I have also ignored some of those inner whispers and those additional signs, everything else. And every time I do it, the universe is like, listen. I'm gonna give you a bigger sign. If you ignore that one, I am going to slap you around. And sure enough, every single time I've ignored something and I've ignored it again, ignored it again, then life is just like, here.
[01:00:16] Fine. I'm gonna get your attention with this. Mm-hmm.
[01:00:19] Ryan: Okay. The whisper becomes a bullhorn right next to your ear.
[01:00:25] Luke: Exactly. Exactly. So I appreciate you adding that in. Ryan, I, I wanna thank you so much for being here, for sharing, you know, you yourself for sharing this story. I have a feeling this is not the last story that we're gonna be hearing from you before we sign off.
[01:00:39] Normally I ask, you know, how can people be in touch with you? Certainly add that, but specifically I want you to say, how is it that people can follow your music? Hmm.
[01:00:49] Ryan: Well, that I don't know yet either, so I haven't created anything yet after my band ended, I'm, I'm in a reconstruction process now. People can find me on Facebook under Ryan Matthew.
[01:01:00] There's a picture of me singing up there with a cool hat on. Everybody loves the hat. You can find me on Instagram as, I think it's Ryan Matthew Official. I'm sure we're gonna do this again. So by that time I'll have probably a Reverb Nation or Tune course set up with some of my songs on it. I have a few songs that I'm ready to release, so I'm working on that.
[01:01:19] But maybe we can do an update for your listeners later. Awesome. It's been a joy to be here, Luke, and to tell this story and to talk it through with you and watch it evolve and grow and new things showing itself. And this is so full circle for me, listening to your podcast for the last five, six years and, and now being on it.
[01:01:36] It's so cool. Outstanding.
[01:01:38] Luke: Ryan, thanks again. This has been an absolute joy to have you on this walk, and I agree. We're gonna be doing this again.
[01:01:44] Ryan: Pleasure to be on this walk with you. Luke,
[01:01:48] Luke: I wanna thank you once again for coming on this walk with us. Do me a favor. If something in this story today stood out to you, it's something that's gonna be sitting with you or that you're gonna be walking with for quite some time, do me a favor and share it back with us, whether that's on the, on this Walk Facebook community, or as I mentioned at the top of the show, dmm me on any of the socials.
[01:02:12] Contact me and let me know what did this story mean to you? What were some of the things that you drew out of the turns, the twists of what this man and what his journey has been? What stood out to you? What did it resemble to you? What did it bring forward for you to take a look at in your life? And do me a favor, as always, if there is something that stood out about this story, about this episode, pay it forward.
[01:02:41] Be sure to bring up this conversation and go on a walk of your own with a fellow man who you think you can benefit from whatever it is that you're walking away with from this episode. Once again, thanks for tuning in to on this walk.