031 - Turning Towards Our Hurts, Our Pain, and Mental Health As Men
Today’s episode is truly unique, as we have not one, but two special guests to accompany us on this walk. The topic of discussion is sensitive and personal. Today, we talk about sexual abuse and its effects on mental health in men; a path both of these men have experienced and are now standing strong to support others.
We talk about fighting the monster within, the role of radical acceptance, how we create new commitments, and key pivot points in each of our journeys. Both Tom and Reggie accompany me on this walk and together, we turn towards our hurts, our pain, and our mental health, as men.
In This Episode
(07:46) – Tom’s transition into a speaker and a coach.
(09:22) – Fighting the monster they were initially running from.
(19:10) – The importance of having compassion for yourself.
(26:30) – Unlock your self compassion with Equal Empathy Meditation.
(27:16) – Taking that step to radical acceptance.
(37:22) – Rebalancing yourselves in your masculine through healing.
(44:22) – Saying “enough!” to create new commitments.
(48:30) – Cultivating the gift of curiosity.
(1:01:40) – Always remember: Pain is sacred.
(1:07:10) – Reggie on helping athletes get through stressful times.
Notable Quotes
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“As I grew older, and I grew the capabilities to help myself, I no longer needed that gremlin. But that gremlin was always there holding me back. Then when I got to the point where I had to talk directly to myself and who I was, I realized that I was not a monster. The feeling was compassion. There was so much compassion that came over me that, ‘why am I being so hard on this guy’, because he is a beautiful human being. Like any of us, we are harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. I was so hard on myself that when I got the opportunity to love who I was, having that compassion was so beautiful. It was a big hug that I gave myself and I still do to this day, when there are times when they are challenging. I realize I am not that person I think I am right now. So it was compassion that overwhelmed everything when I allowed that to happen.”
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“Listening is huge. Making sure that they know that I am available. As an athlete, even when it came to my own parents, when you are going through this experience, very few people understand how you really feel; how it actually is, because they have never actually done it themselves. They can study it. You can look at it in a book or look at it on TV but you are never going to understand the feeling that someone like me would have that justified. The background that came from; why I am doing this. Why I am finding enjoyment out of this. One thing I have that I feel saved me going through this experience, even going through all the abuse, was I had a system for solving problems. I came into an environment and I studied the environment first and the people. I had a way of going about things that ensured my success.”
Our Guests
Tom Kress is a public speaker, certified life coach with a mission to guide people to live a powerful life. As a survivor, he has spoken to over 400 schools and thousands of students on sexual abuse, awareness and prevention. To date, Tom has empowered 180 students to come forward about their abuse.
Reggie Walker has been on the show before. He is the creator of the Personal Mastery school, a program built to help anyone find answers to what is their purpose or plan in life. Reggie suffered sexual abuse when he was young, which affected him all the way to the NFL. He is a TEDx speaker, public speaker, consultant, and problem solver for businesses.
Resources & Links
On This Walk