016 - A Walk with Purpose (Part 2)
In the last episode, Tim and I spoke about our personal journeys with purpose, belonging, taking soul wanders, and how this brings us into this incredible space where nature reflects what truly lies within.
As we continue with Part 2 of our walk with purpose in today’s conversation, we dive deeper into the ancient ritual of a Vision Quest – sharing what this ritual is and what it can reveal.
I’ve been on a personal vision quest with Tim’s guidance and, on this transformative journey of mine, I encountered deep questions with tough to grasp answers. But as I interacted with these questions, so much more than guidance was revealed.
Join me as we step into this vision quest with my walking partner, Tim Corcoran.
In This Episode
(04:58) - What is a vision quest?
(13:36) - The two sides of preparing for a vision quest
(17:00) - What does Life want to do with me?
(18:39) - The grounding mantra of ‘trust the ceremony’
(25:53) - Establishing a conversation with the ancient one
(33:38) - The post-vision quest return
(35:14) - Proper preparation and proper integration before and after the quests
(39:00) - My journey towards peace
(42:51) - “To quest is to go experience the fullness of life.”
(47:53) - The most important changes that take place when we go out in and return from quest
Notable Quotes
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“I've used different versions of this phrase before at different parts of my life, ‘trust the process’. But really, I wanted to honor the ceremony, the sacred ceremony I was entering. And so that mantra became to trust the ceremony. I'm gonna connect to my soul, I'm gonna connect to my purpose. I'm gonna connect it by all these intentions of what I wanted out of the process. And then ultimately that was able to fade away so that I could turn and say, I'm gonna trust the ceremony. And it was through the journey itself, through the vision quest that I recognized that the mantra that I came up with had nothing to do, or it didn't only have to do with the vision quest. That's pretty much become my mantra, because I now understand for me, this life is the ceremony. We're in the ceremony right now in this grand experiment. This is the ceremony.”
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“I want the fullness of life and if there's darkness in me that I have to face, then so be it. I'll face it. And I think that's a mindset that is appropriate especially for a quest. And it's that willingness, it's that vulnerability, it's that courage that's so important. My hope is for our listeners that maybe this inspires you to find that. Because I do believe we all as human beings have that potential inside of us to face these depths. And it's only in facing our darkness that we'll be able to face our light and yeah, it gets pretty dark, and yeah, it gets pretty bright. In the end, I've never worked with anybody who didn't say that it was worth it.”
Our Guest
Tim Corcoran is the founder of Purpose Mountain, where he offers Nature Based Purpose Guidance to support people with a love for wild nature who feel a deep yearning to discover their purpose. Tim also serves as co-Director of Twin Eagles Wilderness School, an organization he co-founded with his wife in Sandpoint, Idaho in 2005 dedicated to facilitating deep nature connection mentoring, cultural restoration, and inner tracking.
Resources & Links
On This Walk
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Luke (00:01):
Welcome to On This Walk, a show about the winding journey of life in all its realness. I'm Luke Iorio. Please join me and my brilliant heart centered guests each week, as we look to navigate this journey more consciously and authentically. Uncovering how to tap back into that sense of connection with self, with soul and with something bigger than ourselves. Now let's go on this walk.
Hey, welcome back to On This Walk, and today we continue our walk with purpose and with Tim Corcoran. I'm hoping that you've had the chance to tune in and to listen to part one of this conversation. When Tim and I spoke about purpose, belonging, or longing to be, about taking soul wanders and how this brings us into this incredible space where nature can both reflect what lies within, as well as share messages and guidance as to what we may need that supports our healing and wholing journeys.
We cut off part one right before we got to the discussion of the vision quest and my own personal vision quest that I took under Tim's guidance. As Tim will explain shortly, the vision quest is a fairly sacred ritual found across many cultures and religions. Whether those quests were 40 days and nights in the desert, or at times in the cave, or even the Buddha under the Bodhi tree. The ritual and mythic qualities of the vision quest are found across time as it's a process that allows you to enter into a very deep conversation with your innermost self, nature, and the divine or universal consciousness. In just a moment, we'll dive back in and Tim will explain the vision quest in a bit more clarity and detail.
It's funny because as I was jotting down my notes for this conversation, this introduction, this preface, I wanted to keep writing vision quest as vision question. I don't know why, but it seems actually really appropriate, especially for the journey that I was on, because my vision quest certainly was a great big dialogue anchored by deep questions, with tough to grasp answers and guidance. And yet, as I sat and interacted with those vision questions more and more, slowly, so much more than guidance was revealed. You see, there was this deeper energy that was emergent, but it started with sitting with truly being with the questions that were dancing in my heart and soul. This whole experience, including the journey up to the vision quest, which most of which was shared in part one, was unbelievably transformative for me. It took me even deeper into my own uncovering and remembering process, know that what I share is actually only a small part of my experience on the vision quest, and perhaps I'll share even more fully in conversations yet to come as appropriate. But for this, I'll ask that you step back into this mystical, imaginal, magical space that we discussed near the end of part one. And join us as we step in to this vision quest. Let's go on this walk.
I wanna pivot into the vision quest with all that we've talked about, with all of the work of the wander, soul wanders, part of, you know, what I knew you were doing, cause of the way it's explained in, in the way that I worked with you in the programs you've created. I knew what it was in preparation of, and for us, it was in preparation of a full vision quest and a personal vision quest. And so I wanted to have you share a bit on this because we're so at times disconnected from these rites of passage as we grow up and, and go through these different transitional stages of life that we don't, you know, demark what was, and now what is. And we also have a lot of difficulty. I mean, a huge amount of difficulty being in the liminal space, being in the space in between where it's not what was and what will be is not yet formed. And there are rights, there are passages, there are quests that have been done for thousands and thousands of years that we have lost touch with, and yet are, there's a reason why they were so powerful. And so the vision quest, I'll ask you to explain the vision quest in a moment, but for me, as I prepared for it, it was just this clearing away of all the things I needed to clear away so that when I stepped into that space, when I stepped into that circle of the vision quest, I was open to receive as fully as I possibly could. And I will, I'll share some of what, what that vision quest entailed and, and some of the mantra and everything else that came from this. But I guess first, Tim, if I, if I just ask you to give a little bit of that context of the vision quest, uh, which is certainly a much grander progression than even what the sole wander has brought.
Tim (04:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, so what is the vision quest? I mean, simply put, a vision quest is a period of time, traditionally would've been four days, four days, and four nights alone, fasting in wild nature with a singular intention of what is my purpose here on this earth? What is my vision? Uh, we used the term vision. Uh, it was actually so that the, that terminology vision quest, um, it was an, an anthropologist who first came to North America and witnessed the Native American people embodying this practice, this ceremony that came up with that terminology. A lot of people associate the quest with Native American tribes, But the truth is, it is a cross-cultural, universal spiritual practice that has been present throughout the world. There is a pattern of, you know, oftentimes, you know, three, four days in, in a traditional sense, but it could be as short as a day or there's longer. There's 10 day quest, there's 40 day quests out. I mean, there's all kinds of stuff, but in short, you know, it's a period of time. Yeah, alone, fasting in nature, holding that singular intention. And from the research I've done, I think it's, and I've talked to some Lakota teachers about this, that it's probably the old, one of the very, if not the oldest ceremony, think about how simple it is. It's stopping everything in life. And, you know, oftentimes it can be, it can be just allocating a simple space, like maybe a 10 foot circle, and that's your space for the whole quest. There's also wander quest where you do move around. There's different versions of it, but oftentimes we see that it's a stationary experience, but it's stopping life and saying, okay, I'm actually not willing to move forward in this life.
I'm not willing to live another day without knowing what is the current most up to date expression of who I am in this world. And because I'm not sure, because I know there's more, I know I'm capable of more. I know the world needs me. I want to discover what is not so much, what do I want to do with life, but life, what do you want to do with me? I am here at, in service of life? That's a Parker Palmer quote. Actually, I think you were referencing Parker Palmer recently. I think I saw that. You know, he says that, well, it's not so much, what do I wanna do with life? What does life want to do with me? In other words, what have I been uniquely designed for through the ups and the downs, through my wounds, through my gifts? How do I transform those sacred wounds back into sacred gifts? And see the other side of the coin, who am I really? And in relationship to all things? And God dang it, I'm not willing to move forward until I make a connection with that. Now, importantly, the vision quest is a mentored process. We, when we look back, we see that there was always other individuals typically who had taken quest themselves, who knew the language of soul, right? We were talking about this in the soul wander. How does soul speak to us in signs, synchronicity, symbols, dreams, moments. There is an art to learning that language. It takes time much like learning French or Spanish. And when we work with mentors who are, are fluent in that language, it can be helpful for us to understand what's happening. So the quest is a mentored experience that there is a significant amount of preparation.
Sometimes I'll get folks saying, Oh, they'll email and be like, Tim, I'm going out on quest. Got any tip tomorrow? You know, got any tips? And I'm like, uh, sorry, I don't, I don't work that way. And it's something that you and I, Luke, I mean, we spent two months preparing you. If I had my druthers, I'd put everyone through a full year. You know, not that that's necessarily required, but I, that's what I did before my first quest. That was some 20 years ago. Um, but I did a full conscious year of 12 months of preparation, at least a month or two, you know, although, you know, these are tendencies. And I have seen it where people feel called to a quest with a very short window of time between when the quest is happening and when they feel called to it.
And sometimes that's appropriate, you know, so it's a case by case thing, but having a good mentor who can support you and get clear on what you were speaking about, you know, this cycle. Um, when we look to nature, there's, we work with natural law, and I know you and I have spoken about this, What is the law of nature? Well, everything's born, everything dies, and everything is renewed. That cycle is constantly happening. Everything is born, everything is dying. Everything is renewed, including us. And so the quest, this is where, you know, we get into more of the rite of passage and initiation conversation is an opportunity to look deeply, deeply into what is dying inside of me. What relationship, ways of being, ways of seeing the world are coming to an end. What stages of life, what is being born in me? What is emerging naturally? Not because I want it to, and I have to, but because it is like an acorn sprouting. And there is only one shape of that white oak tree that it's leaf that it's gonna become. It's gonna have lobes and rounded edge, you know, edges. It's, that's what a white oak is. And there's that uniqueness in us too. There's, there's the uniqueness of Luke and the uniqueness of Tim, and who am I really, you know, and, and the renewal and what's needing renewal. If there's one thing I've learned from my time in nature, Luke, and, and with people who have lived close to nature, and I've been blessed, you know, to work with a number of traditional earth-based and indigenous teachers, it's that they honor trend positions, nature honors transitions, right? We've talked about this.
Look at the four seasons. All we really have is two seasons. It's summer and winter. It's the time of life and growth, summer, and then the time of falling back, winter. Spring and fall are really just half the year spent on transitions. So there's a teaching right there. What would my life be like if I spent half of my time, half honoring transitions, right? And thus, the soul work becomes developmental work. Thus we start to see how we are changing and how we're developing, and the places where, you know, life phases that weren't acknowledged. The, I do a lot of rite of passage work. I, I do initiatory work with boys and with men and, and women. And, um, we have a need for rites of passages to mark the big changes going from, you know, birth or going from childhood to adolescents or adolescents to adulthood, or stepping into parenthood or becoming an elder or death. I mean, the big ones, the big phases. These are things that are earth-based ancestors, all acknowledged consciously in community, and many still do. And there's an opportunity there that we can still do that. So oftentimes when people come on quest to developmental needs that are sometimes years and sometimes decades old, had that have not been met, needs that have not been met will rise up. And there's opportunity. I mean, I've had 75 year olds come through vision quest that finally acknowledged, you know, that they're not a boy anymore. And there's, you know, there's, there's no end to those needs. If it didn't get met when it needed to, it'll still be there. Uh, and yes, entering the liminal space, entering the imaginal, um, all very much part of it.
So the vision quest is huge for me. It's the singular, most important spiritual practice that I have. Yeah, I, I've done, I don't know, dozens of quests. And my first one was 20 years ago. It set me on path to, I saw that I would get married, that I would become a father, that I would start a wilderness school, and that eventually I would even do purpose work. That was all in that very first quest. When was that? That was like the year two thousands of 22 years ago. And it's an incredible practice of everything we've been talking about today, of slowing down and seeing ourself clearly, of seeing ourself through the, the mirror of nature and seeing ourselves at our essence, experiencing our essence.
Luke (12:44):
A few things to, to comment on. One, just at the very, you know, beginning of saying how the vision quest is something that's present across pretty much all traditions around the world is, you know, to just gently remind everybody, Jesus went in the desert for 40 days. Mohamed went in La Cave, the Buddha sat underneath the Bodhi tree. This is present. And so, even though, as you said, vision quest usually conjures up Native American and indigenous type traditions, uh, it's present all across these traditions, which then you've gotta ask why, to your point about, it's one of, it's maybe the most important spiritual practice, certainly as, as you've had. I know it's been one of the most important experiences I've ever had. And so you've, you've gotta ask that question of why was it there? Why was it so present? Even if it wasn't always pointed out as obviously, but it was there.
And to speak to the preparation that was involved. And I think there's kind of two sides to that preparation. One is, is just truly being kind of ready to be in that space, physically, mentally, emotionally. It is a daunting thing to feel like you are having nature hold up a mirror to every angle of what you are and who you are. And so it's, there's preparation that needs to be done to be studied for that, right? And that preparation is a demonstration of commitment. It's devotion and it's, you're gonna enter a very, very sacred space for a very, you know, uh, a sacred experience. And so to be able to demonstrate your devotion, your commitment to I'm all in, I'm coming into this and I'm, whatever's gonna be here, is gonna be here. And I remember, you know, that for me, I remember thinking, because I, I know of some very, very hard moments that I had in the 48 hours that I was out there.
And it was that reminder of, I'm not leaving this space. There's, I, it's not gonna happen. I am here. And to, I needed to know and be prepared to have that level of commitment when things got dark and things got really rough and I needed to be there. And it opened up so many things, uh, before I get to, to what those things are, only because I was asked this multiple times after sharing bits and pieces of my story with others. No, I was not on any plant medicines. Get that out of the way, okay? Thank you. That's different. Those are different journeys. That's, I was not on plant medicine when I did this. Um, before I get into just a little bit of that description based on actually something that you said here, I brought it up. You brought it up, I, I just, I can't reiterate it enough again, is to honor transitions. I'm still, people know, listening to this, to this podcast, listening to the show. I'm still in transition. And, you know, part of that is because that's where I am. Part of that's also by design is that I've had that opportunity, I've had those invitations to not be in transition anymore, meaning to settle down into whatever the next thing is to be. And I know that that would be short cutting my process. And it's, it would not honor the transition that I'm in, which is a very, very deep and personal one for me. And so I am honoring that space and doing the things I need to do to keep giving me that space. But I'm honoring that space. And I've had that conversation come up with a lot of people even just casually to say that, listen, there's times you've gotta do what you need to do to put the food on the table, to pay the rent, to pay the mortgage, whatever it is, and know that what you are doing may still be in transition. Meaning do what you need to do to do and take care of those things. But also in the back of your mind, hold that space of this is transitional and this is a means to an end right now of me getting that space so I can see what emerges from me. Whether it was Parker Palmer or, because I've heard this in so many different ways, is turning to life and asking it, what do you ask of me? What would you have me do? And that is probably most bluntly, and, and personally, that's what put me on the journey, Tim, to work with you. And to go on the vision quest was that question, because I've had my mind answer that question of what does it want me to do? What is it I should do? And you know, it's, I'm, I've been very, very lucky in the sense that it's, it's had a lot of ideas that have been, you know, some of which have been pretty good. And that can also get you trapped in the dreaming. It can get you pulled just in that direction and believing that's it. But I, like many who probably are listening to this show got to a point of saying, is this really it? Isn't there something more, what's something feels like it's missing? Going back to what we talked about before. And so I came into this process, in this journey with this question of, what would you ask of me, right?
Because now I can start to listen for almost that sourced level of guidance as to what I was designed for. That is part of the whole, not designed for, for my own benefit, not designed for strictly because I was able to then go out and do X, Y, Z that makes me money. It was, those may come, but it was what it was I designed for as part of the whole, to be here as part of this grand experiment, this great mystery that, that we're all involved in. And so it was with that, that I entered into my own vision quest. And I think the other, the only other thing that I wanna share prior to just, I can share any details or anything like that, but I'll, maybe I'll just share one or two parts. But I think the other thing that I remember the conversation we had, the, you know, the evening before I went off on my quest, uh, Tim's helping me prepare for what it is and, and kind of helping me hone in on effectively a mantra that I would be able to return to throughout the course of my vision quest to hold that energy.
And I've used different versions of this phrase before at different parts of my life, uh, of trust the process. But really I wanted to honor the ceremony, the sacred ceremony I was entering. And so that mantra became to trust the ceremony. Originally, I was going in with, I'm gonna connect to my soul, I'm gonna connect to my purpose. I'm gonna connect it by all these intentions of what I wanted out of the process. And then ultimately that was able to fade away so that I could turn and say, I'm gonna trust the ceremony. And it was through the journey itself, through the vision quest that I recognized that the mantra that I came up with had nothing to do, or it, it didn't only have to do with the vision quest. That's pretty much become my mantra, because I now understand for me, this life is the ceremony.
We're in the ceremony right now in this grand experiment. This is the ceremony. And so to trust it and to trust all of these nudges and the soul nudges and the messages and the signs and the metaphors and the, the divine inspiration and the synchronicities and the pain and the challenges and the trauma to trust it and to lean into it, even in its darkest days. And so there's something in there that was held for me in pulling me through. And as I said before, it was so vital because, you know, I remember, you know, the arguments I was getting in with myself in that first 24 hours, first six hours, who am I kidding? And, you know, of everything of, I, I hit such a, a despair inside of me when I remember that, that the sun going down the first day and hitting this point of despair where I'm pacing.
So I'm in about a 12, 15 foot diameter circle for this 48 hour period. And I remember pacing around that circle thinking, how hopeless have I become? I have put myself out in the middle of the wilderness. I was down in Shenandoah, and I, here it is, it's going dark. I have no food on me. I've only got water. And I'm going to such extents because I can't just simply go do something in the world. I can't just simply say, well, I'm gonna choose this purpose and go, and my mind is just beating me up over this. And I just kept coming back, trust the ceremony, trusted it, because I, I mean, I always grabbing onto that mantra like you wouldn't believe at those moments. That led to my, kind of my first, call it breakthrough, that opened up the ceremony for me in a different manner. And I think, you know, where I'm going with this was that in the center of this circle was I was in this, you know, I was in Shenandoah, so it's this, this, these beautiful large, uh, and diverse set of trees all around me in every which direction. And they're, I mean, they're up, they're 30, 40, 50 feet high in some instances, but right in the middle of the circle that I had chosen to, to set up my, my camp and my circle in was this young tree. It was a tree that was only maybe about 18, 20 feet tall. And I, I immediately, I don't know why I was, I just called it young tree, like, like they was young tree to me. And it would set, it confirmed for me. It was young tree again, just disbelief, and uh, cause it's gonna get weirder. And I am pacing and I turn to young tree and here I am in the middle of the forest and I'm shouting at this tree, what is my purpose? Like if I'm gonna be here, what is my purpose? And young tree, I mean, immediately I knew the answer from him. And it was not about me. It was that trees do not ask this question. Trees are just trees. We are being a tree. Why don't you try being you? And it was like, ugh, to connect to that. And it, and, and you know, if I told you that it was about being you or for me, that that's part of the message I started to receive from the get go, it wouldn't make sense. It would seem kind of, of course, be you.
But you go through this, this energy, this workup of what am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to give back? What is the, what's the difference I'm gonna make? Or what is, you know, what is it that's right for me? What is my design? And we ask all of these questions from a very egocentric place. Go back to the very, very first part of this conversation, this dialogue we've been having, right? And we ask it from that regard. And instead it's like, you, part of this trees are just trees where just being a tree, try just being you and being you within the context of all of this that you are a part of. And it began to melt that armor that I was still carrying with me as I was in that circle. Once I kind of hit that moment, and this came after, you know, like I said, a dark moment, but through the course of kind of the day leading up to that, I'd been asking questions of, you know, what, what do you ask of me?
And hearing replies of, well, what is it that you want for humanity? What is it that you want for others? And so that I could start to, to connect outside of myself, that this isn't about you, this is about that giveaway. This is about how you're connected to something larger than you, but you are designed to carry what that giveaway is. And so I remember thinking and, and ultimately arriving at how, and uh, guys, this is part of, you know, why this, this podcast is what it is, was that I recognized that I no want, no longer wanted people to cast their shadow out onto the world. Meaning to carry or hold that, that trauma that exists within them, the hurts and the pains, and then project that out out of the world and then blame the world for being a certain way when it was actually your projection that you're seeing through at those moments.
And we treat other people through our traumas and through our lenses and through our pain, and instead to take responsibility for that, to be able to own that within ourselves. And that's part of where like the, the dialogue began for me, even leading up to the dark moments and then this moment with young tree, which of course is the irony is that exactly what I said is exactly what I had to face for the next 40 hours of this journey, right? And so to get into then that evening, I had had then ongoing conversations with this other stump, this decaying stump that ultimately became known to me as ancient, uh, the ancient one, which was holding this grand circle, this grand space. And it was directly above, uh, or directly anchored at the, the direction of the south for me. And in those constant dialogues with the ancient one, God, you know, I remember this was actually, I believe, trying to remember if this was still part of the evening of day one. I think it might have been, and I'm going through some of, you know, life events and life circumstances. My mind is wandering to just some really just life stuff. Just like mental chatter of things that we're looking at and things that my wife and I are thinking about doing and considerations for where, you know, what, what we wanna do within our lives and, and some living situations and things like that. I'm looking at, well, how am I gonna do this? And how, how am I gonna afford these types of things and, and what more do I need to be able to do and this and this and this? And I had already established this little bit of conversation with ancient one. And I sit back and I turn to ancient one and I'm like, can you help me? What, you know, where am I going with this?
I wanna come back to this moment. I wanna come back to why I'm really here. What, you know, what is this <laugh>? And that's when, you know, ancient one lectures me and I get this lecture around you humans, you humans, I can hear it's voice, right? You humans, you're always wanting more. You're always asking for more. And it's that pursuit of more that you will never receive because it's out of, it's born, out of a place that feels empty within you. And it in that emptiness, you seek more to fill it up, to fill it up, to fill it up, as opposed to slow down and start to figure what you can give back. How can you be generative? How can you be a servant? How can you be a steward in this life? To Tim, what you, you were describing before is even above that self-actualization is to recognize in relation to how can we be stewards when we're here?
And I'm getting this lecture from, from the ancient one, this unbelievable decaying tree, right? And he's talking me through what does it really truly mean to be a servant leader, a servant king, within this new era and this new paradigm that we are meant to usher in that is generative, that gives back, that doesn't own, but that it shares. That doesn't take, but that it generates that it gives. And so reversing so much of the paradigm that we've been trapped in and sitting just kind of in awe of what I'm receiving at those moments, to realize the importance of it, to realize how much, you know, we may talk about some of these things and we may have heard some of these things through the many years of, of, you know, different influences. But look around at the world right now of what we're struggling with and the things that are collapsing and the the ways in which we're not sharing the way that we are not stewarding and being our brother's keeper.
And you look at it and you feel the weight of, at least I felt the weight of those words and the weight of those insights. I went to bed that night, I had some really fun, funky dreams. I'm not gonna share all of that, that, uh, all of of those aspects. But it was, it was definitely some very, very powerful stuff. Had to be up in the middle of the night. And actually at one point I had a headlamp on, and as I was looking out into the woods, I felt like I was being watched. And I remember to vividly these two really, really large eyes in the direction of the west. And through other studies I've had, the direction of the west holds the energy of jaguar. And it felt like jaguar was watching me. The, the keeper of the night, the keeper of shadow, the fearless one was staring at me and watching me through this ceremony.
And so anyway, the next, the next morning breaks and thing that I can share the most, actually no, there was two things. There was one piece that I had to share to get to the second day, and that was after that exchange with the ancient one that I just shared. And, and getting all of that kind of, the weight of that wisdom passed to me. I remember that nudge of being told to look back over my, my shoulder and now face the direction of the north. And as I go to face, I mean, I turn the whole thing I face in the direction of the north. And again, as I look out, all of a sudden this blue hummingbird appears out of like, just comes flying in and outta nowhere and hovers directly over the north stone. So in my circle, I had demarcations for south, north, east and west, and directly over the north stone, the hummingbird is hovering and just like looking at me and holding that stillness, that grace of stillness and motion that they are.
And in one of the traditions that I have learned, the South American, uh, uh, lineage of, of the andes, the jaguars of the west, but the hummingbird is of the north and here is royal hummingbird fluttering and flying and holding stillness above the north for me. And then comes in and kind of darts by me and then goes directly out over the, the, uh, the east stone, which is the direction of destiny. It's the direction of vision. It was just this unbelievable surreal, beyond surreal moment of confirmation of what I had just received from the ancient one. So I go through the night as I described, and then the next morning I started to dialogue with ancient one because I think there was something that was becoming comfortable in that dialogue that was unfolding. And he told me to turn to the east. And by the way, obviously very clear everybody, I'm using certain pronouns like he, because that's just the, the way that my energy was being mirrored to me.
I was on great mother the whole time being held, uh, to be clear. And so I turned to the direction of the east and I realized the, the sun is about to come up and crust over the valley. And I'm just waiting. I mean it was, it was so cool. I'm not even, honestly, I'm not sure exactly how long I sat. I know it was well over an hour just waiting for the sun to get high enough over the, because I was in between two huge bridge lines in the Shenandoah and so down in the valley. And all of a sudden the sun finally crests up over the mountain. And I mean like, it felt like the first raise of that sun came directly through the trees through an opening and was on my face. And I mean, it heated me up like 15 degrees in seconds.
And I just remember being greeted by this soul fire that was there and this recognition of that fire that exists within me that exists within you. And I was, you know, hearing this very clear message of being light bringer and light holder and specifically for me, and there was a lot of other details that were in there, but that it was told to me specifically to hold the light first before you bring it. And why that's so critical, not only for me, but why I wanted to share it this way was that to hold first, to receive first reminds us that everything is born first out of the feminine, out of the unseen. And it's held within that, that light as it were. And that's not the doing, that's the being and it's being fully present within that to be able to hold the light, the wisdom, the consciousness, the truth, the love that exists within each and every single one of us.
And then from that place be a light bringer to be able to give that away, to be able to offer that out to the world, to be able to share it from that type of perspective and to share it with that type of sourcing and that type of energy. And it was this really powerful experience that reminded me so much of the journey I've been on, but I've never looked at it that way to recognize that I've put myself into transitions, I've put myself into periods also of learning and growing and evolving that were meant to be periods of time, of working on how I could hold the light, to hold that wisdom, to hold that consciousness. And I never looked at it that way. I looked at it, you know, for a long time it was doing personal development, doing, you know, professional development, those types of things.
And as I became more patient, as I became more still, as I became more silent, all of a sudden I could hold it. And now, you know, I don't even think of bringing the light as like doing something, meaning the way that I serve as a coach or a guide or any, you know, I don't look at it as like the doing of it. It's who I am and just allowing it to flow out of me and to, to just flow from that place. Uh, there's again, there's, there's so much more to, to this whole journey. I literally have told it's crazy. I've, I've told you some highlights, but it's like 10 per, not even 10% of what actually unfolded for me. But let me share it there. Let me hold that as kind of the container for this. And Tim, uh, let me, let me just kind of ask you for just your reflections or anything else that you would, you would prefer you, you would like to point out, uh, as part of this to help people understand the depth of, of a vision quest.
Tim (33:25):
Well, uh, this is great. I'm just loving the whole thing space for you actually, and hearing, hearing your story again, because for me, I, I'm, I'm, I'm blessed to be able to hear this. Now this is kind of a second opportunity for me because of course part of the process that you and I went through was that I go through with everyone is post vision quest. People have a chance to come back and share the depth of their story, really be heard and not just be heard, but have a chance for the story to be reflected. Or sometimes we call it mirrored back to them. Consistently, what I hear, and I think you experienced this Luke, is that it's in that process of, because we have all these experiences and there's a part of us, yeah, that, that's inner skeptic that wonders what the heck, like did any of that happen? Is that real? Did I make that up? And to have a trusted mentor who can reflect the experience back, help point out subtleties that may have been missed and to affirm all of the changes that are unfolding is huge. I consistently see that for people who do vision quest work, that, you know, a person goes out and has the quest and then we think they think, okay, that's it. I did it, right? But oftentimes the most significant breakthroughs happen not during the quest, but actually post quest during the reflections and the mirroring, which is such, such a huge piece because it's in the process. It's the hardest thing for us to see ourselves clearly. And frankly Luke, you're, you're a very skilled individual and, and, and not normal in my experience as a client, as one who is able to see so much yourself. And yet still, I think there was a lot that came through, you know, through, through the reflection and the mirroring. So I wanna point out that, you know, that, and I, I failed to mention that earlier, that that's a huge part of the process is I'm a huge, huge, very strong feelings about proper preparation and proper integration before and after these quests. It is, you know, if we're doing it in person, there is three full days dedicated only to preparation and another three solid days focused just on integration. If we're doing one on one work, it's months or a month, uh, before and after, if not more.
Luke (35:35):
Yeah, I just wanna echo that because the, I think there's, there's the two, two elements. It's the, the integration that occurred in being able to walk through that experience, share it with you and have it reflected back at me with the type of wisdom and knowledge that you have of these processes as well as just the insight that you already had. And, and to me as your, as well as your own wisdom to draw to, you know, bring that to bear. Uh, I did receive, you know, a tremendous amount out of, out of kind of that debrief in the mirroring back of that experience. And the other element of this was when I shared this, there's, I'm not gonna go into the depth of this now, but uh, there's an anchor council, there's a council, there's a group of individuals that you meet with throughout the course of this process and to be able to share it with them. And these are people that know me intimately well and it's cuz I've heard you use this and people may be familiar with this, but it felt like I was being received home again. That's huge. It was, right? That's a huge, but it's a huge piece of this process, right? How many that are listening have gone to these big experiences and like, felt so much shift and things are moving, they go home into their own environment and they never feel received. And you go right back to, right?
Tim (36:44):
It's classic. Back to the old patterns, there it is.
Luke (36:48):
Because there's nobody there to witness you in your new self in the new emerge. I shouldn't say new self, I should say the emergence that has come through at that point.
Tim (36:56):
The new evolution. Yeah. Yeah. So that's a huge one. Um, backing up, I really wanna honor you again for, you know, you spoke for a while there before the story of the quest about this transition that you're still in the midst of Luke and here you are months later, still willing to hold the tension of being in a transition. That's tough. That's really tough. There is everything in this modern world that points us away from that. Well just go ahead and figure it out already. You know, and you're not, I would say that's one of your gifts that I've consistently seen Luke, is your willingness to stay in the transition. And because it, there's a tension there, there's a part of us always that doesn't want to, of course we just wanna know what's next, but it's the willingness, the vulnerability, the courage to stay in that transition that is so important essentially if we're really going to evolve.
So I wanna honor you for that. Yeah. And you're also, your willingness back to that quote, you know, not so much what do I wanna do with life, but what does life wanna do with me? That's a hugely vulnerable thing. That's a dissolution of the ego. Just to be able to actually say that and mean it. It's not, what do you mean it's not about what I wanna do with life? What do you mean? What does life wanna do with me? That's a hugely humble approach to take to life. And again, honoring you for that. And that's my hope. I mean that, that might feel really threatening. I'm imagining for some listeners, maybe not, I don't know, but I'm imagining for some and certainly phases of my life where that would've felt super threatening. Like, and yet, I mean I think you and I could both agree like, wow folks, if you're hearing this, if you're still with us two hours in now and you're hearing this, maybe that's got something to offer you. What does life wanna do with you?
Luke (38:48):
I just wanted to add a quick note here. None of this was easy. This wasn't like one day I woke up and I was willing to surrender and trust and have faith and feel into this way of living. The journey towards peace is one that is pretty much anything except peaceful. There, you know, were many times where I had places of despair of what am I doing and I just wanted to stop at those moments, to walk away, to quit. And yet I already knew where that would take me. I had already lived that part of the script and I was ready for a new direction that felt deeper, more aligned and more balanced with my innermost nature. But to get there, I had to keep surrendering over and over again. In fact, I still am. I have to face the many resistance points that did and still keep coming.
I have to be willing to sit in the discomfort, to be with the uncertainty of not knowing. And as scary as some of that may sound, it's brought me more peace, more clarity, more joy and more balance, more so than I can even fully explain in this conversation. At some point, that question of what does life wanna do with you? Or in my case, what does life want to do with me entered my consciousness and path. Part of this stemmed from my interactions with young tree as I spoke about before, of asking this young tree about purpose and hearing that it was telling me that trees do not ask such questions. We are trees. I am being a tree. It had claimed its place in nature. Well what if we already had that innate place on the web of life? What if that is our innate nature that is meant to emerge from within us?
What if just like how all the forests grow in the world, we didn't need to engineer or control it, but instead recognize what is trying to happen through our own existing. These days I spend much more time listening than anything else, listening to the soul nudges and signs, the insights from deep meditation, the synchronicities of what's being placed in my path and the passing dream-like thoughts that seem almost like a combination of deja vu and a clear knowing and felt remembering of truth. Listen, I'm not telling you to not have your dreams, your visions or your goals. I'm telling you that the dream or vision you most yearn for may already be deeply seated within you. And when you slow down and enter into the quiet and the stillness and ask what does life want to do with me? You may get your conditioned self out of the way long enough for you to encounter what's been trying to emerge through you this whole time.
Tim (41:33):
Right? Also, I wanna reflect in your pre-process all of that deepening of your intention. That's what the preparation is all about. You know, you talked about the shift from trust the process to trust the ceremony. Um, and that was huge. You know, that's so much is deepening our intention is because we all come in, we might have an initial intention and then, you know, it's kind of, you know, we believe it. Well we think it's right because we came up with it or whatever. And yet over time what experience has shown is that it is a slow, the slowing down process of soul wanders and mentoring and everything else, that that intention gets deeper and deeper and deeper until we actually arrive at the heart of the intention, which sometimes looks very, sounds very different from the original intention and other times sounds very similar, but in either case, the deepening has occurred, which is critically important.
Yeah. And then through it all, I mean, uh, what I'm, what what you've shared, I mean, and again, I'm thinking about our listeners like, man, there was a lot of parts that were just really hard, you know, in your quest. And you know, I, I don't wanna sugarcoat that. Certainly I've, I've had quests that were that way. They were also parts that just, I mean, or like blissful or almost orgasmic, you know? And to quest is to go experience the fullness of life. You know, I'm thinking about our listening. The quest is to go experience the fullness of life, to face those hard parts, to face the bliss. You know, we all want the good, we all want, you know, all of that bliss. And none of us wanna face the darkness. I mean, it, it sucks. Don't give me darkness. Give me a freaking latte from Starbucks.
You know, like we all have that. And yet in the end though is really, is that what we want? I don't think, that's not what I want. In the end, I want the fullness of life and if there's darkness in me, I gotta face, then so be it. I'll face it. You know? And I think that's a mindset that that is appropriate for, especially for a quest. And it's that willingness, it's that vulnerability. It's that courage that's so important that I, my want, my hope is that for our listeners, that maybe this inspires you, you know, to, to find that. Because yeah, I do believe we all as human beings have that potential inside of us to, to face these depths. And it's only in facing our darkness that we'll be able to face our light and yeah, it gets pretty dark and yeah, it gets pretty dang bright. In the end, I've never worked with anybody who didn't say that it was worth it. I'll, I'll say that, you know.
Luke (44:05):
I want to, uh, mention a few things and, and then start to kind of bring us around to full circle, that statement around the fullness of life and to experience it that way. I, I viewed it as touching life directly and that's because, and that to me was so much of what happened within the vision quest. It happens on wanders, but in a very different way on the vision quest is that there, there's no veil, there's no wall, there's no armor, there's, it's just you and life and you, you experience it, you touch it directly and you allow it in is so powerful. What you mentioned around holding the tension of the transition, and we've alluded to this in different ways. It's, we need to be able to hold the tension right now. We need to be able to hold the discomfort and we need to not run from it anymore.
To not avoid, to not get the extra cup of caffeine or binge watch on Netflix or social media scrolls or whatever it is that is our fix that keeps us away from it. We need to be able to be with that discomfort. And this whole journey, this whole process for me was a further exploration of being able to be with it, to be with life in all of the blemishes, all of the darkness as well as all of the joys and all of the light. And so to, to be there through all of it. And I think the, this last piece is that even while I'm still in transition, there is something that feels like when you begin to connect even in the smallest of ways of what life would do with you, it feels so natural coming back to where we began this conversation, right?
Is we feel in tune with nature, in tune with our nature because we just feel the natural flow of it again. And I guess if I just make a couple comments and then Tim see if, if what else you would like to wrap up on with this is that the integration component then becomes so critical. We talked about integrating as you come back from the vision quest, but it's, it's days, weeks, months. I'm still integrating what, what occurred for me and it's been months since my vision quest and I could be years from, I know some of what's gonna be because there's stuff I'm, I know I still don't understand yet. And it's a process of consistently moving forward and moving with it, bringing it with you, allowing you know yourself to reconnect to it, to experience it. So it continues to change you, it continues to work on you as you move forward.
And we, you know, I guess I share it from the perspective that the whole thing is a journey. We can't expect to do something like this. And then Monday morning, all of life is different, right? It doesn't work that way. There's integration periods of all of this. And so to have support, to have those social circles or support circles around you, to have that guide with you, to have the routines and the rituals that reconnect you to these experiences and what you, you drew out of you and encourage you, you encourages you to keep up with your practices, whether that is more wanders or whether it's meditation, uh, whatever it's gonna be, journaling, whatever it's gonna be that continues to have you touch on these insights and embody them more and more and more. We want progress. We're not looking for perfection. You're already perfect as you are.
And so, you know, it's just, I I wanted to mention those pieces of this again to can, to give a little bit more of the journey. Uh, Tim, I wanna get some comments for you, but to, to remind, let everybody know you're gonna see Tim again. We are not done with this conversation. We've covered a lot of ground, but we haven't covered anything yet. But Tim, just some, any, any, anything more on whether it's just the integration or just even this whole conversation around purpose that you may wanna bring full circle.
Tim (47:45):
Well, this has been great. I'm loving this. I mean, one, maybe one last comment on the quest that I think is relevant for this moment, Luke. So when we go out in quest, the most important changes that take place are typically the smallest, most subtle one that occur on that deep soulful, visionary level. Like in that state of consciousness, in that spiritual realm that one arrives at in a quest, sometimes they're just the, it's the tiniest little shift, right? I mean, and it might feel big in the moment or maybe not, maybe it feels really subtle. Like, I mean for you, I mean a couple that you commented on where you humans are always wanting more, you know, but hey, see what you can give. Now that might have been just, it's just like a lever that was just switched at the deepest level.
Now you could, someone could judge that as superficially, it's, oh, that's no big deal. Yeah, I've heard that all before. But when that change takes place on that level, which I know it did for you, that's like a seed being planted in fertile soil. And yes, with good integration then that's the watering and the, and the sun and everything that, that seed needs to actually flower into a mighty, mighty tree that will provide for so many. I mean, I, yeah, there's not time right now. So many of those little seeds that took place in my first quest 22 years ago that have now are now blossoming trees that allow me to do what I'm doing or the piece that I know is so big for you, you know, go from light, start as light holder and then to light bringer, we must hold first. It's the feminine first.
We all come from women, we all come from a mother for hold first. Then we can bring, that's a big, big deal when it happens on that level because it, it's at the root level of our being. And then again, it can grow. So these are big, big changes that have the potential for strong transformation if we're willing to, you know, see them be with them, accept them, have the courage and the, and the commitment to, to integrate them. That is so beautiful for me to see as your guide, you know, to see you clearly, uh, embodying them here in this conversation. It's just the joy for me. And, uh, yeah, as we wrap up, I guess my message is, yeah, this, there's a whole world available, you know, to our listeners right now. There's a whole other world available where miracles can happen and deep transformation can take place and the veils of separation can be transcended and removed.
And that where you two can really discover your vision, your place, your image, you know, that, that dwells at the center of your being and why you're really here. And that is the grandest adventure that there is. I mean, I remember that years and years ago, the concept of vision is like, wow, we've all got one and the great adventure of life is discovering what is that and getting to live that. That's what makes life worth living for me, you know? And yes, that includes family and friends and uh, and, and our professional work in the world and everything else. And that, that's what I want, you know, for our listeners right now is, is that you can have a taste of that and, and that whether it's me or someone else, uh, or another path that you can really live that life because it is available to you.
And I, I believe that's the biggest thing that our world needs from, from each of us, you know, to discover our gifts, to discover what we, who we really are, what we have to offer and bring that to the world. That is enough. That is me changing you, changing the world. That's enough and yeah, yeah. So yeah, just thank you so much Luke and what a pleasure this is and what an honor to be interviewed by you as someone who, uh, I've had the blessing of, of again, taking through your journey. Um, my great hope is that listeners are, are feeling into our, our felt connection that's very much alive for, for me right now.
Luke (51:46):
Tim, thank you so much for being here. This has been a, a journey unto itself, uh, and in this, in this conversation, and I hope everybody, you know, gets that sense of it. And you know, as I mentioned to you, mentioned to everybody tuning in, uh, this is not the last you've seen in Tim. We've got, we've got more paths to, to walk down.
Tim (52:03):
Looking forward to it.
Luke (52:04):
Absolutely. Tim, thank you so much and thank you for tuning into part two of this walk with purpose and journeying towards our innate wholeness. I'm hoping that what we've discussed in these two parts spoke deeply to you beneath the mind chatter and peek to curiosity within your heart. The journey to wholeness, at least to me, is a lifelong journey. It's a quest, and this life itself has an element of ceremony to it in that it is sacred, it has a way of unfolding, it has a way of expanding as we interact and relate to it. To this day, I still repeat that mantra of trust the ceremony regularly, and I know how much I'm reminding myself to trust life and to trust my true nature when I say that mantra. I hope this continues to call to you and know that you can always reach out to me if I can support you in any way, reach me through the On This Walk website or community, or find me on social media, there's no need to go alone. This is a walk we're meant to do together. Until then, be well. And thank you for going on this walk with me.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of On This Walk. Before signing off, please subscribe to the show and don't miss a single episode. Also, please rate and review us. This helps me greatly in getting the word out about this show. And remember, this is just the start of our conversation. To keep it going, ask questions, add your own thoughts, join the ongoing conversation by just heading over to onthiswalk.com and click on Community in the upper right hand corner. It's free to join. Until we go on this walk again, I'm Luke Iorio. Be well.